Introduction Miniseries: North America
by TheLadyMuse
Summary: Part 5 of Abattoir. We get a slice of life with the North American branch of the Abattoir, who josh around a bit, but before that, we get an iCarly snippet that will clarify something in the actual episode. OR When the Heartbreak Heroes Tour is to be introduced via a five episode miniseries. (1/5)
1. Disappear

When Sam disappeared the day after Carly left, no one made a fuss about it. The only one who might have was Spencer Shay, and he'd woken to a short note that morning. It read

 _Spencer,_

 _Thank you for everything. Carly's not_ here _for now, iCarly is finished, and I have some unfinished business to take care of. Stay safe, I'll be back at some point, I just don't know when._

 _Sam_

Spencer was a little upset, until he began receiving letters from Sam. Not emails, texts or phone cards. Honest to god letters in the technological age. Often not more than a few lines, they were comforting, when his home was devoid of all life but his own.

Until Carly, Freddie and Gibby asked if he'd heard from Sam. He admitted the truth about the letters, all from different parts of the country. The one that came the next day was postmarked 'RUSSIA'. Filled with dread, he read it after keying in the others for a group call.

 _Spencer,_

 _By now, the others have discovered that the only contact I'm keeping is sending letters to you. Don't feel bad, I'm fine. Really. But that unfinished business I told you about? That's taking longer than I thought. Nothing illegal, but keep an eye out for the Heartbroken Heroes Exhibition (and introduction miniseries) and you'll know why I left._

 _You've got lives to lead, all of you, so I'll CliffNotes you. You've wondered, I'm sure, how I became who I am. I'll tell you._

 _I was part of Biovolt's Seattle branch as a child. We, the survivors, are making our way through life now, and we're fucked up. Like totally, completely, can't keep it together fucked up._

 _The Council of Ten, the only people, bar one, I'll EVER bow to, have recalled us for retraining. Their theory is, if we can't adjust, they'll give us what we need._

 _If you ever need me to return, all you need to do is Google 'Council of Ten, Biovolt'. It'll bring up a contact number._

 _Call it._

 _Ask for my commander, Bryan Kuznetsov (or his partner Tamsyn Ivanov)._

 _Tell them you require Lieutenant Puckett, and that the password is 'khudozhnik'._

 _The reason you ask for Lieutenant Puckett instead of Sam is that I gave myself into their service, I am a lieutenant of the Abattoir._

 _No promises when next you'll see me, but until one rebounds, I'll keep sending notes._

 _Sam_

 _P.S._

 _I'm tied up in the Heartbroken Heroes tour, so I can't return to Seattle until it's over, unless the worst has happened._

Confused though they were as to why the letters were sent to SPENCER, life continued on

 **Khodoznhik- Russian for artist**


	2. Green Light

**Credits Song is 'Green Light' as performed by Russell Dickerson**

The Venturi-MacDonald family were crammed on the couch of the family home, eagerly tuning in to the first episode of the 'Heartbreak Heroes Introductory Miniseries' in which one of their own was participating.

They were a little confused when a black-and-white photographs scrolled across the screen, depicting tall, handsome men and lean, long haired women. Each face was frozen in a grin as the lyrics played, white script scrawling across the television, like pre-show credits.

"Branch supervisors: BRYAN KUZNETSOV and TAMSYN IVANOV."

"Captain SPENCER REID."

"SIC Sentinel ZOE PLUMMER."

"Sentinel DEREK VENTURI."

"Lieutenant SAMANTHA PUCKETT."

"Dagger-class Enforcer SUSANNAH SIMON (SUZAKU)."

The actual footage opened on a sparring mat, where Spencer was sitting cross legged on Derek's back as the younger man performed methodical pushups, each done in exacting moves. Zoe and Sam were stretching each other's legs while Suzaku and Tamsyn boxed as Bryan watched.

After about three minutes, Derek arched his back up, bucking off his captain before rolling to his feet, grinning when Bryan tossed him a water bottle. Spencer accepted one as well, flicking a smoldering glance at the camera before he accepting a water bottle as well, catching it deftly.

Sam rose, giggling when Zoe shoved her. Zoe sighed and looked over to where Tamsyn was instructing Susannah. Tamsyn finally called

"Alright, Suze, we're done here, we should get the wedding discussion out of the way before we spar, though." Zoe groaned

"Why did I agree to announce my nuptials on t.v. before I told my family?" With a smirk, Bryan retorted

"Because you're Abattoir." Zoe nodded, seating herself beside Spencer for the duration.

As the figures on screen spoke about Derek taking over Zoe's duties as Second in Command of the North American contingent, Julie Plummer watched frozen. Her daughter was a part of an organization of elite operatives and performers? Her daughter was getting married? To who? She shushed the children when Zoe snickered at Sam, pointing out

"Hey, you like older men too, Puckett. So zip it!" Sam laughed and shot back

"Yeah, but my choice is like an overgrown kid anyway. Wolfe is… Wolfe." Suze sputtered agreement and Tamsyn chortled from Bryan's lap.

Julie was stunned. Wolfe? As in Shane? But how-!

Her daughter answered her by replying to her colleague with the smugness of a very satisfied cat

"Oh, he is, but aside from being tough to handle, he's also monstrously strong, strong enough to handle the sharp edges you get when you're trained in blood and pain."

Tamsyn butted in

"Well, if you say so, but you realize more than a few Abby guys were disappointed, don't you?" Zoe nodded

"Oh, I do. But the only men in the organization who could match me are too young or taken."

Spencer sighed

"Well, technically, I could have matched you, but we both know how that would've turned out."

Zoe nodded, voice apologetic when she commented

"You're not Shane, and I'm not… _her_."

The BAU team were watching in disbelief as it aired at a police station, their confusion ratcheting up several levels when Spencer began a graceful, dancelike combination of moves, sparring with his younger, and definitely better trained supervisor. Who, Derek remembered distantly, was something like Reid's cousin.

Though Spencer wasn't incompetent, Bryan trained far more frequently and ruthlessly, both men were tall and lean, crouching and lunging far more freely than a heavier man ever would.

Bryan called a halt to the session, congratulating his cousin on a job well done when Tamsyn called Sam to the plate, the statuesque red head hurling the shorter blonde into a workout that had her sweating ferociously, unaware of how horrified the watching iCarly crew- and their fans- were.

Sam vaulted out of the path of the red haired virago, aware that deliberately inflicting more damage than necessary would bring Bryan's wrath down on her.

Because of how cautious she was being, Tamsyn not only got the drop on her, the other teen slammed Sam onto the mat, earning an "Omph! Fu-" For her trouble.

Susannah Simon launched her own assault on Tamsyn, equally unaware that her family and friends were watching as she went three rounds with what appeared to be a female Muhammad Ali.

It wasn't until Zoe stepped in and fought dirty that Tamsyn got a mark on her, earning slack jawed shock from the younger girls.

Everyone in the audience cringed when Bryan sneered

"Serves you right, Tam won't get any better if she doesn't get beaten, and besides, you know better than to slack off sparring, especially against your section leader."

Spencer intervened

"Yes, well, they only have so much territory, my lord." Bryan cocked a brow, nodding when Sam answered

"Lieutenant in charge of Washington State." And Suze chimed in

"Dagger-class Enforcer, the city of Carmel, California."

Rolling his eyes, Bryan muttered

"Thank god we are the best martial artists in the world."

Derek chipped in

"Best athletes, you mean, my lord."

Tamsyn giggled when Bryan grumbled

"Enough of the 'my lord' crap, I'm not even nobility."

Spencer intervened again

"Perhaps it's time to get on with the real purpose of this video."

Sam turned to the camera, paused, and spoke when Tamsyn poked her.

Drawing in a breath, the blonde began

"Hey all! So, if you watched iCarly, you know I'm Sam Puckett, if you were visited by the Bau in the past ten years, chances are you know Dr. Spencer Reid-" She waved to her captain, who smiled and waved at the camera. Sam continued

"Anyone who knows anything about hockey has heard about my pal Derek Venturi-" He pulled a face and groaned, which Sam ignored in favour of pointing at Bryan and Tamsyn

"Beyblade fans will definitely know our boss, Bryan Kuznetsov, and his partner, Tamsyn, is the twin sister of his teammate Tala Ivanov-" Bryan glared at the camera while Tamsyn stuck out her tongue.

Gesturing to Suze, Sam finished

"To round out our little troop is Susannah Simon, whom we call Suzaku because a, she has a tendency to blow up when she gets mad, and b, because her nickname is Suze." Derek inserted with a smirk

"When we want to piss her off we call her Sueannah." Suze dismissed that with a wave, saying easily

"Now, now, Darius, we both know you love me, platonically, since you don't have balls." Instead of getting mad, Derek looked at her and asked with a raised eyebrow

"Where'd they go then?" Susannah smirked. The others prepared for an explosion by inching away, chortling when she replied

"You handed them over to her when you gave her your heart." Derek laughed, sounding far more genuine then he had in years, at least to the people who knew him and were watching.

Sam Barnes, the man who'd been Derek's best friend since they were children, felt incredibly hurt when Venturi replied

"Well duh, 'zaku, that's what you do."

Spencer sighed and took over speaking, explaining

"The Abattoir is all that's left of the original incarnation of Hiwatari Enterprises, because those of us who were part of the Biovolt athletics and academics training program were recalled a few months ago to headquarters." Bryan cut in

"Which are, incidentally, based in an Abbey in Russia. We reassigned the people who needed reassigning, retrained those who needed or wanted retraining and assigned them roles."

Tamsyn put in

"Bryan, as security chief, installed Spencer as Captain of the North American arm of the Abattoir because he has the contacts to carry out paramilitary operations and the know how to oversee the business side of things."

Zoe interjected

"Normally, my job as Spencer's second is to maintain the business operations and coordinate communications, the others operate satellite offices and act as contact points for our comrades." She smiled when Derek added

"Since Plummer's getting hitched, I'm taking over most of her duties as second, though the business side of things will be handled by Tamsyn for now."

This was a lot for certain persons to comprehend, especially when Sam pulled Derek into a kiss. He grinned into it, suckling and caressing and dragging her down to the mat, moaning when she rolled him, cackling when raised the hem of her ratty t-shirt and displaying a strip of Cyrillic runes that had been inked over the right side of her butt, sitting in a way that would be framed by the waistband of her pants and the hem of her shirt when it was pulled up high enough.

All the iCarly viewers watched as Sam rose, pulling down her shirt and smirking at the camera

"Sorry 'bout that, Derek needed some consolation, since he'll never get the girl, and I'll never get the guy."

Bryan sighed and explained

"As you can see, those of us who are unattached will give and take solace from a comrade in the some place. A kiss, a hug, the simple touches we were denied in training."

Nora MacDonald Venturi ached for her stepson. When it had first become clear that he was being 'recalled', he'd left them a censored file that gave them the very basics of his training under the North American branch of Biovolt.

And now, his friend, his compatriot, was saying that he'd never get the girl. It made her sad, and more determined to make it clear the family would welcome him home. George, she knew, would agree with her. Looking at the others, from horrified Marti, to envious Edwin and sympathetic Casey, she hoped the kids would get on board with the plan.

Carly Shay looked at the screen, ready to burst into tears. When Sam had left, the only communication they'd received were short letters, sporadic and addressed to Spencer, all saying the same thing- I'm fine, tell the others I'm alright. God but it hurt, her only way of knowing if her best friend was okay was her brother getting scraps of paper in the mail.

And now this. Sam making out with (a total hottie, but not the point) a foreign athlete like she did it every day, on camera! The athlete in question was flat on his back, sexy eying the camera while the women tittered and the men chuckled.

Sam waved at the camera, smiling as she said

"Bye guys! Hope you tune in next week for the Asian Arm episode! They'll talk more about the things we underwent and the hierarchy in place!"

Tamsyn called warmly

"Comment on the website, send in photos and videos, and we'll keep an eye out for opening acts on the North American leg of the Heartbreak Heroes tour! Ja ne!"

The screen faded to black, flashing a coloured picture of the entire squadron before the credits rolled.

Back in the lounge where the video had been filmed, Derek was once again sprawled in his back, eying the spot where the camera had been, a week and a half ago. This time, though, he was barechested, and if he'd have turned over, you'd have seen a tattoo like Sam's on his right shoulder.

But that's a tale for another time.


End file.
